This aside,
it would appear that the powers that be either know something that I don't or
are too easily distracted by my ability to procreate at the most inconvenient
times of the work calendar to notice my short comings and are really committed to positive
discrimination. Regardless, I thought I should prepare myself for interview process as,
if memory serves me right, my interview technique is somewhat lacking. I recall
having perfected the art of profuse sweating from the underarms, back, belly
and upper lip accompanied by an incessant and indecipherable babble akin to a
toddler who is keen to express the inner, rather convoluted, workings of their mind. What my technique
does not involve is poise, clarity of thought and confident, articulate
answers. Therefore, I decided to research what skills I should possess
as potential "management" and prepare my answers accordingly.
The numerous websites
which I stumbled upon listed several key skills that one should possess in order to be
a successful manager and that during interviews one should be able to "use
specific examples from one's own experience to illustrate how one has acquired
the necessary skills and to demonstrate how one has used them
effectively."
Well one was
stumped.
One had
nothing.
Whilst
examples in the work place eluded me I got to thinking; I spend 3 days a week
between the hours of 9am and 5:30pm doing my paid job and every other minute, hour
and day attempting to do my more than full time occupation of managing the two unruly rug- rats at home. Those children had spent
their entire lives (a grand total of 6 years) preparing me for this moment. I
was ready.
 |
| They had had me in training for this day |
Communication and
Motivation
I am a
skilled communicator. This is evidenced in the multitude of ways in which I can
convey and effectively disguise a negative answer from “I’m not sure”, through “not
right now” to “oh look, there is a bus/bird/pebble/lamp/key/dog/chair!”
Furthermore, I also have a strong background in the field of translation and a
history of effectively deciphering a variety of instructions, emotions and
frustrations uttered by my “juniors”.
However, I
would strongly contest the belief that a person in my position should be
available at all times and establish an "open door policy" as I feel that a healthy distance should be established
between management and the “junior staff” to allow for authority to be
maintained. I find that locking myself in the bathroom for regular intervals
throughout the day aids me in this practice.
 |
| Distance is key |
My ability to
motivate is second to none. I am universally acknowledged in our family unit to
be the most effective at inspiring our "staff" to defaecate in the
appropriate vessel. I have even gone the extra mile and devised an anthemic
song to encourage those who are doubting their abilities and inspire them to
achieve their excrement related goals. Go me.
 |
| Visualise your goal |
Organisation, Forward
Planning and Strategic Thinking
Organisation
and forward planning is an essential part of my daily life. Anyone with two
toddlers must be organised and able to identify all the possible eventualities
that may be encountered if they wish to leave the house. Should they also require
the toddlers in question to accompany them they must also employ some effective, strategic planning.
On multiple occasions I have found myself facing a mutinous duo who would no
more like to venture out into the elements than they would feast on cold cabbage
stew and under these rather testing circumstances, where appointments are looming
and scheduling is tight, I must employ the most strategic of thinking. I must
engage my experience, knowledge and insight to achieve my goal. More often than
not this involves bargaining, followed by reasonable threats, then excessive
bargaining before I start to issue threats that some might consider far beyond
the reasonable punishment of a 4 year old and entirely unenforceable but I get the job done.
 |
| Their interest in outdoor pursuits is often lacking |
Problem Solving and
Decision Making
I have read
that effective problem solving and decision making “requires outstanding attention to detail and the ability to remain
calm under pressure" and I am sure that some of the other candidates
may have regaled you with numerous examples of how, having been presented with
a critical issue late in the process, they effectively managed to overcome the
obstacle and calmly extricate both themselves and the company from the
situation with aplomb. However, until they have had to deal with a raging
toddler, excessive layers of winter clothing and a liquid
excrement expelled at high pressure when armed with only 3 wet wipes and a “can do” attitude, I doubt they
are in the same league as I.
 |
| Three wet wipes people! |
Commercial awareness
I have a
strong track record of anticipating the needs and wants of my “clients”. Many
is the time I found myself catering to the unvoiced demands of those I serve
without prompt, be it procuring the latest episode of “Go Jetters”, enabling
(against his audible protestations) the youngest to recharge his batteries by putting
him to bed during the day or engaging the eldest in an arts and crafts
situation. It is merely fortuitous that this ability to pre-empt my “clients’” needs
also serves to provide me with a brief hiatus in the middle of a long day at “work”,
which in turn, undoubtedly increases my productivity (on social media).
 |
| It's about recognising the specific needs for each "client" where here we see arts and crafts are not effectively engaging the youngest |
So, as you can see, we as mothers have many a transferrable skill and should not fear the workplace or question our abilities to thrive there. After all, if I can tame a couple of lawless toddlers who would no more be reasonable than they would perform algebraic equations, then I can definitely hold my own in the corporate world.
Management here I come.
 |
| Totes Profesh. |
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